Welcome to my first blog entry; let’s get into it!
I cultivated the following lists because I experienced there was a lack of what I’ve coined, “Addressing Coping Skills”. Many seek counsel because of unhealthy coping skills and most of them practice what I call, “Distracting Coping Skills”, which I state is just as important. Dysfunction occurs when there is an imbalance with the following:
UNHEALTHY COPING SKILLS
alcohol; drugs; smoking; etc
self-harming; cutting; restricting food
risk-taking; dangerous behaviors
helping others at the expense of Self
control issues/ rigidity
DISTRACTING COPING SKILLS
ADDRESSING COPING SKILLS
assertive communication (expression of needs)
open communication (emphasis on curiosity)
diet (fast food/ processed food)
relationship with nature
I bold Accurate Self-Talk and Self-Care Baseline because I deem them the most powerful addressing-coping-skills in managing the psychology and the biology of a person. Inaccurate self-talk explodes into anxiety and self-neglect is very, very depressing.
My job/therapy is to provide support during the investment into one’s Self. Which means I explore with you the lack of motivation you may be experiencing, I keep you accountable to your expressed agenda, I provide validation, perspective and options for your efforts and obstacles. I’m not a “yes therapist,” tho. But just because I highlight your growth areas doesn’t mean there is judgment. And lastly, consistency, is key! Not to be confused with perfection. Clients will try to report to me that they got “a wonderful 8 hours of sleep last night!” I nod approval, then ask, “And the previous nights…?” They become bashful and together we remember that consistency is key.
In addition, with me or another therapist, covering this foundational piece of Coping Skills will curb the amount of time, energy and money it takes to invest into yourself. Because what if you’re not aggressive or anxious, you’re just “hangry” ?